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All Other Jaded Nonsense

What The Hell, NFL? America’s Favorite Fall Pastime Is Now Equivalent To Watching Prisoners During Yard Hour At A State Penitentiary…With Sponsors.

Right out of the gate, I want to make one thing perfectly clear. I am in no way intending to make light of the severity of the issues being raised by the conduct of NFL players. I also feel I must admit that I’ve never been a fan of big league sports, mainly because I … Continue reading

All Other Jaded Nonsense

To The Thief Who Stole The License Plates Off Of Our Car, I Forgive You. And When I Say I Forgive You, I’m Actually Saying I Hope You Fry Like Bacon In The Ghettos Of Hell.

Listen, folks. I’m a reasonable person, but when I’ve been wronged (or when I feel I’ve been wronged), I can be a decidedly unreasonable individual. Some might use the word “unhinged.” This really isn’t new. In fact, my parents would be the first ones to tell you that when I was growing up, they grew … Continue reading

All Other Jaded Nonsense

My Niece Asked Me To Take Her To The Circus, And I Ended Up Having To Teach Her About Animal Rights. Sort Of.

The circus is coming to our town soon, and my little niece, quite possibly the biggest lover of animals this world has ever known, asked to go. “I love the circus, Uncle Jaded,” she proclaimed. “Really, sweetheart?” I asked. “Yes. Animals are fuzzy. And they do tricks in the wild,” she stated. “Actually, darling, they … Continue reading

All Other Jaded Nonsense

If My Previous Posts Are Prostitutes, Then I’m A Post-Peddlin’ Pimp (Alternate Title: Revisiting Some Classics)

When you’re a blogger with writer’s block, it can be difficult to maintain the frequency of your posts with exciting, relevant, and engaging content. Writer’s block is the bane of all lovers of words. It’s crushing. It’s demotivating. It’s heartbreaking. And I have it, y’all. Fortunately, I’m not above shameless self-promotion, and I’m certainly not … Continue reading

All Other Jaded Nonsense

“They” Say Home Ownership Is The American Dream. Well, As We Deal With Our Third Major Plumbing Disaster In Five Years, “They” Can Suck It.

I don’t have a lot of time, friends. There are a few reasons for this. First, I’m very busy avoiding fluid intake of any kind so I can keep from needing to use the facilities. Oh, and by facilities, I mean our own bathroom! Two, I’m on a strict diet of…nothing! Again, because I’d rather … Continue reading