Ponder, if you will, the human race. We’re delightfully diverse, are we not? It’s really a spectacular idea to just mull over in your mind. With the exception of American teenage girls, no one person is exactly the same. That’s exciting! Riveting, even. What’s even more fascinating is that while we’re all incredibly different, we … Continue reading »
Latest Entries
And Now For My Formal Essay On The Metaphysical Anomalies Of Marine Iconography As They Pertain To The Anthropological Structures Of Social Discourse…Or, What The Hell Does It Take To Get Freshly Pressed Around Here?
Hi, ya’ll! Ready to discover something new and insightful today? Well, you’ve come to the wrong place, and frankly, I’m damn proud of it. Before we go any further, let me be clear that I’m certainly not complaining about how things have gone so far in my time here on WordPress. I started this blog … Continue reading »
Do I Love 80s Television Shows, You Wonder? Uh, Do I Have Three Dogs Named Meredith, Baxter, And Birney?
Okay, I don’t. But wouldn’t it be fabulous if I did? Alas, we have but one wonderful dog, and his name is decidedly un-80s. Having said that, Tootie, Screech, and Alf were all on our short list. So, we tried. Now, the real Meredith Baxter-Birney, who famously played the matriarch on the classic sitcom Family … Continue reading »
A New Television Show Asks, “What Would Ryan Lochte Do?” If They’re Seriously Soliciting Answers, Mine Is “Behave Like An Unrelenting Ass Clown.”
Oh, Ryan Lochte. Dear, dear Ryan. It’s hard to remember what life was like before we had you strutting about the streets of our great nation serving as one of our finest representations of a remorseless douchebag. Thanks so much for playing that role so expertly. It’s such a treat. Now, let’s get real. It’s … Continue reading »
Checking In With Norman Bates To Determine Why His New Television Series Moved Him To Oregon And Got Him Wrapped Up In Drug Rings And Sex Slavery…But Mostly Why He Moved To Oregon
**FYI: If you watch (or plan to watch) Bates Motel, there may be some spoilers in here. Consider yourself lovingly warned.** “We all go a little mad sometimes,” Norman Bates famously quipped in the original Psycho. Frankly, I would imagine you’d also go nuts if you were used to your run-down icon of a house … Continue reading »
The Fall Of The McDonald’s Happy Meal Will Turn Kids Into Miserable Booze Hounds, Doomed To Lead Lives Defined By Shattered Dreams And Poor Choices. Maybe.
Everyone wants to be happy, and it’s one of the universal pursuits we all share. Happiness is, without doubt, a good thing, but like all good things, it can be hard to obtain. In America, I’ve found we’re big fans of getting small rewards and little—I’m talking itty bitty—tastes of the good stuff. It seems … Continue reading »
Reflections On Childhood Trauma: Locked In A Bathroom, Parentless, At The Rootin’ Tootin’ Pizza Saloon
Lo, the everlasting scars we carry on our souls from the traumatic ordeals we endure in our youth. We all surely have our own memories of those childhood moments that were so unforgettably awful, they’ve stuck with us throughout our lives. We file them away amongst our “worst ever” experiences and revisit them, somewhat masochistically, … Continue reading »
Welcome To Hell, English Fans! Mankind Has Conjured Up Yet Another Way To Take Our Beautiful Language And Shoot It Out Of The Cannon Of Stupidity. “Shipping” Is Now Part Of Our Vernacular.
I was reading some online articles about Smash the other day…you know, the show I pleaded with everyone to watch so it doesn’t get cancelled? Thanks for nothing, by the way. NBC has since announced the show is being moved to Saturdays where it will, without doubt, gasp for air throughout its remaining episodes before … Continue reading »
Actually, No. I Don’t Think My Love For Romantic Comedies Set In Italy Has Skewed My Sense Of Reality. Not One Bit. Now, Where Did I Put The Deed To That Villa In Tuscany We Bought On A Whim?
Oh, the emotional power of the cinema. I love it, don’t you? I’m a slave to its magical charms, and the way in which it can make life seem so lush, peaceful, exciting…and remarkably affordable. There are exceptions, of course, and clearly not every film genre can attain such joyous feats. But there’s one in … Continue reading »
I’m Grateful For Each And Every One Of My Readers And Followers…With The Tiny Exception Of The Horrifying Perverts.
This quick write-up is not a novel idea, as I’m sure nearly every blogger finds inspiration for a post upon receiving their first search term that’s…well…questionable. Thanks to the helpful stats offered to us by the fine folks at WordPress, we’re able to see how many people are visiting us each day, what they’re looking … Continue reading »
